But it is really not. It’s really hard. And I am so tired. And there are my two biggest excuses for not following through with the things I need to do to feel better. To feel healthy and balanced. I wake up on Saturday and I feel inspired to do better. I spend the weekend eating well, clearing out the clutter of my life, and exercising. Monday comes and I swear to myself that this week is going to be the week that I follow through. I am struggling by Monday night, failed by Tuesday and, by Wednesday night, I have completely given up and feel worse about myself than the week before.
I have a lot of really valid reasons: my job is demanding mentally and physically, my beautiful puppy, Winnie, interrupts my sleep every single night, sometimes more than others (and it has been more the last two nights), I’m tired, it’s snowing, I need to make dinner, my meeting went late, Winnie falls asleep in my lap, I’m in a bad mood….. the list could go on and on and on. It always does. So, like every week, it’s Friday and I am no closer to my goals than i was on Sunday and I am furious with myself. How do I stop this cycle? How do I bust past “I’m tired?” when I am, really, really tired?
This week I have tried gratitude, I’ve tried positive self talk (if i don’t talk about the tired, I won’t feel tired). I started to write about it. I
tried to appreciate every minute. And yet here I am on Friday. It’s crazy-making.